Cat Haiku

      You never feed me.
      Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
      That will sure show you.

      You must scratch me there!
      Yes, above my tail!
      Behold, elevator butt.

      The rule for today
      Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
      New rule tomorrow.

      In deep sleep hear sound
      Cat vomit hairball somewhere
      Will find in morning.

      Grace personified.
      I leap into the window.
      I meant to do that.

      Blur of motion, then
      Silence, me, a paper bag.
      What is so funny?

      The mighty hunter
      Returns with gifts of plump birds
      Your foot just squashed one.

      You're always typing.
      Well, let's see you ignore my
      Sitting on your hands.

      My small cardboard box.
      You cannot see me if I
      Can just hide my head.

      Terrible battle.
      I fought for hours. Come and see!
      What's a 'term paper'?

      Kitty likes plastic
      Confuses for litter box
      Don't leave tarp around

      Small brave carnivores
      Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
      Fear vacuum cleaner

      I want to be close
      To you. Can I fit my head
      Inside your armpit?

      Wanna go outside.
      Oh, shit! Help! I got outside!
      Let me back inside!

      Oh no! The Big One
      Has been trapped by newspaper!
      Cat to the rescue!

      Humans are so strange.
      Mine lies still in bed, then screams
      My claws are not that sharp.

      Cats meow out of angst
      "Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
      We could break so much!"

      Litter box not here
      You must have moved it again
      I'll crap in the sink

      The Big Ones snore now
      Every room is dark and cold
      Time for "Cup Hockey"

      We're almost equals
      I purr to show I love you
      Want to smell my butt?

      Negotiating
      No-man's land. Carpet alive,
      Flea season again.

      I need a new toy.
      Tail of black dog keeps good time.
      Pounce! Good dog! Good dog!

      Cat, fearless hunter,
      Leaves presents for me near door.
      Next time I'll wear shoes.

      Night. Now come night-mice.
      I chase them 'round on loud feet.
      You can't see them too?

      Want to trim my claws?
      Don't even think about it!
      My yelps will wake dead.

(Author unknown....)


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Barbara Petersen, January 2002 barb@velvet.com