How To Participate In An Internet Flame War

To the tune of "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean":

    The Lurkers support me in e-mail
    They all think I'm great don't you know.
    You posters just don't understand me
    But soon you will reap what you sow.

    Lurkers, lurkers, lurkers support me, you'll see, you'll see
    Off in e-mail the lurkers support me, you'll see.

    The lurkers support me in e-mail
    "So why don't they post?" you all cry
    They're scared of your hostile intentions
    They just can't be as brave as I.

    Lurkers, lurkers, lurkers support me, you'll see, you'll see
    Off in e-mail the lurkers support me, you'll see.

    One day I'll round up all my lurkers
    We'll have a newsgroup of our own
    Without all this flak from you morons
    My lurkers will post round my throne.

    Lurkers, lurkers, lurkers support me, you'll see, you'll see
    Off in e-mail the lurkers support me, you'll see.

(Author is Jo Walton....)


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Barbara Petersen, August 1999 barb@velvet.com